Friday, March 12, 2010

Moving On

I'm not sure it's ever really going to feel like the time to emerge. So, I'm starting to think if it is ever going to happen, I'm going to need to force it a little. A lot of things are getting 'back to normal' on the surface, but underneath, nothing is the same. And I think it's finally occurring to me, that it never will be.

I had this thought recently that I'd eventually like to resurface in the blogosphere with a beautiful tribute post, in memory of my mother. And that after that, I'd be able to move on - go back to 'Enjoying the Journey' ~ here on the blog, but more importantly, in real life. But, the thought of going back to inane posts about sleepovers and marshmallows - the thought of actually letting myself enjoy the journey again - without her to share it with, still feels wrong. At the same time, this sort of hibernation I've been in is starting to feel wrong too. So, here goes.

Dolores Connell Schafer

Young Beauty

Adoring Mother

Delighted Grandmother

Forever Friend

Some of the things that will always bring my mom to mind...

little league baseball
St. Augustine
Barack Obama
Meryl Streep
Paul Newman
primary peritoneal cancer
Wilt Chamberlain
June 29
July 13

Winnie the Pooh
crossword puzzles
German chocolate pie
Joan Baez
Elizabeth Berg
Lifetime movies
Terms of Endearment
Crimes of the Heart
swimming pools
the beach
window treatments

Her spirit is alive and well in each one of these incredible people.

I love you Mom, and I miss you more than words can say.


My said...

We love you, Carolyn. You have always brought such a special kind of beauty to this family. Thank you.

Zan said...

Sorry don't know what happened to my ID

Anonymous said...

The list is so great. Can I add:

The West Wing
Beech Mountain
Treasure Lane


Anonymous said...

dan stole mine with the west wing ... but i wanted to add sewing (which i think you said), my dining room table, nate wanted to add christmas muffins, and most of all my daughter :-)


Kelly said...

Carolyn that was beautiful and very touching. Your mom lived life to the fullest, as you do. No matter what came at her she handled it with such beauty and grace, as you do. The apple never falls far from the tree, and each time you look in the mirror know she is right there with you. Two beautiful women filled with love and grace.

Donna said...

I have more to say in I just want to add to the list;
Book Club - the most amazing book club member a person could have. her mind was brilliant and at every month, everyone waited to hear what Delores thought about the book, before the conversation stated. She is missed. i love all the Schafer family and extended family members. Thanks, carolyn for postd this.


lisafer said...

Beautiful post, Carolyn.